Friday, January 29, 2010

The Rebellion Against Darmaji

Again, we tried to build up the estafet story. Gosh, I don't know exactly what happened, maybe it was caused by the complaint delivered by our boss. Even though this is frankly our fault, but we didn't accept it as he did to us. Well then, so it made us created the army to fight against Darmaji. That's why we poured everything in our heart (WTH?) to show the world what happened to us.

This estafet story was written by me, Rizka, Suci, Faida, and Elly. Sorry if any of you aren't able to understand the language. It is aimed to keep the privacy and just won't make it controversial. And for the dearest readers, we're sorry for this shit trash thing. We didn't mean to mock or insult anyone, it is just for fun. So please forgive us if any of you feel bothered of this post, just ignore it :D

Check it out.


REBELLION AGAINST DARMAJI

Awan iki Darmaji mlaku luntang-lantung pinggir rel sepur. Karo ngupil nganggo linggis. "Ngguateliii, upilku kok gede banget seeeeeh?"
Pas lagi enak-enake ngupil, moro-moro onok sing nyeluk, "Jiiiii...". Tibake sing nyeluk si ponaji.

"Halah pakleeeeek, sampeyan iki ngupil nggawe linggis, sampe mimisan koyo ngono, karo clurit ae luwih nggarakno semriwing."

"Rame ae kowe Pon...lapo mrene marani aku?" jare Darmaji.

Ponaji nyauri "Aku arep muleh lek.. mumet aq ning kene mbok kongkon nggawe game-e jaran"

"Halaaaaaah, lebay deh eyke. Timbangane awakmu koyo anak buahku iku kabehane browsingan karo ngegame kabeh, gak ono sing kerjo, nggateli kabeh ... sampe kembut2 irungku," beneran kembut2 irunge Darmaji, tapi iku gara2 ngupil gawe linggis.

"Sampeyan iki lek sing lebay, ati-ati disantet karo anak buahmu sing jenenge Geje karo Icus lho, dendam sampe ubun2 ketoke" jare Ponaji.

Darmaji ngomong "huah.. rawedi! eh ojo salah yo. masio ra iso melek ngene mbahku asline jombang. ilmu santete luweh makjoss.."

"Pantesan, lek. Jenengmu iku katrok bin ndesooooo, aku ae rasane isin duwe paklik koyo sampeyan, jeneng kok koyo tukang becak," Ponaji koyoe arep bunuh diri, emoh ditakdirno dadi ponakane Darmaji.

"Ooo...arek iki cilik2 kemlinthi, arep ngajak gelut kowe Pon?" moro2 Darmaji dadi emosi, nyincing lengen klambine. Ponaji akhire mlayu timbangane sasi ngarep poso senen kemis gr2 dipecat dadi ponakan.

"Paklek, opo hubungane poso senen kemis karo dipecat dadi ponakanmu?" si Ponaji takon neng Darmaji. Iki asline Ponaji mlayu tutuk Darmaji opo takon seh, kok ora jelas blas?

Darmaji ngomong "Lho tak pikir kowe mau mlayu ngadoh. tibae nyedak to. tiwas aq wes seneng ae. Dasar bocah goblok. mosok ra ngerti hubungane poso senen kemis karo dipecat dadi ponakanku"

"Heeeee? aku kan atheis, Paklek. Kowe opo meneh, malah nyembah Si Mamang, yo moso tau aku poso Senen Kemis," Ponaji wes kembut-kembut pisan.

"iku sopo maneh sih le.. le.. sopo iku mamang?? opo iki aku sing kakehan ngupil yo.. daya mengingat ku melemah.. sopo iku pon mamang?? dewa opo kuwi? "

"Makane lek,dadi wong tuwo ojok kemlinthi pisan,sukur sampeyan pikunan. Iku lho Mamang, mosok ora iling masang potone,mbok pasangi lilin karo kembang,bendino ndungo ndek ngarepe potone sampe membabi-buta",jare Ponaji.

"woo.. pantesan potone ilang. kowe to sing njupuk. kene balekno potone mamang sing lagi adus," jare Darmaji.

"Astaghfirullah, istighfar, lek. Nyebut, nyebut, nyebut jenenge si Mamang," si Ponaji ngelus2 dada.

"Wong edyan rak katokan rak kelamben rak kutangan!!!! kowe sing kudu nyebut.. kapan aku nyembah2 dungo mbe model pelem bokep murahan koyok ngono... aku iki rak terimo kon anggep penyembah si mamang. Aku iki jelas2 luwih hot hot pisan... aku yo benci karo wong iku... mantan waria taman lawang, saingan ku biyen... my biggest rival!! you know, kowe eruh boso inggris ora??" Irunge darmaji kembut2 paraahhhh.

"Ngaku2 hot, wong irung kembut2 kyk ngono, ora iso melek pisan. Podo ae iki karo Mamang. Weslah timbangane nyepet2i mripatku,mbaleko kono nang Taman Lawang", Ponaji tambah emosi.

"Bocah biadab! senengane marai aq emosi. nek emosi ngene iki kudu tak lampiasne ning budak2ku.", Darmaji bengok2 karo mlilik2..

"Wes tahlah, Lek. Ojo dipekso, lek aseline gak iso melek, ojo dipekso melilik-melilik ngono, pamali!" Ponaji ngadem-ademi si Darmaji.

Darmaji ora terimo dihina2 mbe ponakan biadabe iku, wong ponakane dewek yo ra iso melek. Jek karo kembang kempis irunge.. darmaji nantang ponaji. "Heh le.. kowe iki ojo ngelok2ne aku rak iso melek, kowe iso ora?? hayooo adu melek2an ae... kowe wani ora??" tantang darmaji.

"O ancen paklek sarap,wes didemno malah ngajak tukaran maneh. Yowes karepmu,kate adu melek2an ayo, adu ganteng2an ayo, seng jelas gantengan aku wong sampeyan biyen bekase bencong taman lawang. Takcelukno Geje karo Icus dadi jurine", Ponaji gak gelem kalah.

"Heeeeey, laopo nyeluk2 jenengku?" moro-moro si Geje muncul, "Wong sing nyeluk2 jenengku gak gratisan, kudu bayar royalti, cepet kene endi royaltiku?"

"Oalah iki tho sing jenenge geje,sik kenalan disek.gampang masalah royalti...kowe jaluk opo?" jare darmaji.

"Aku njaluk kirimno aku maneh nang korea, minimal 5 taon... wis bosen aku nde kene,, sumpek mumet... wong2ne akeh sing geje (GJ = ga jelas), aku dadi melok geje iki" jare geje kembang kempis.

"OPOOOOOOO?!?!?!?!?! ora iso saiki, iki jek lagi adu melek2an karo Ponaji. Kowe kudu dadi jurine, pokoke kowe lek menangno Ponaji takkirim seumur hidup!! Awas kowe", Darmaji ngancem Geje karo linggise.

"Halah .... katek adu melek2an barang. Tapi sektahlah, lek menangno Ponaji aku arep dikirim seumur hidup? Gak salah ta kalimat iku?" Si Geje kebingungan.

"yo opo tho arek iki, geje tenan, mosok ponaji sing tak kirim seumur hidup. lak enak dek-e. yo wis ben adil, sing kalah dadi asisten aq ae...ngancani aq mlaku2. " jare darmaji.

"yawis.. ngene ae yo ben enak.. lek awakmu kalah pakle... dirimu sing hengkang dari dunyo yo.." jare ponaji. "iyoo mbe iku... linggis mu karo aku..arep tak jadino properti gae pilem anyar ku "rumah dara" " jare geje sing ancene gejeh tenan. "trus aku ini nyapo?? " jare icus merasa dicuekno. ponaji, darmadji mbe geje terperangah...

"AKU ORA TRIMO DICUEKI!",icus ngomong menggelegar. Moro2 onok bledheg kilat banter nyamber icus,sing awale rambute icus ngombak dadi lurus.

"Innalilah!" si Darmaji karo Ponaji berpelukan ala Teletubbies, tapi untunge si Geje gak melu2, tapi kok yo ono sing aneh ndek wetenge Geje, halaaaaaah, tibakno Darmaji karo Ponaji berpelukan ndek wetenge Geje. "Aku wes ora joko maneh, hiks hiks ..."

"gaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkk....." icus bengok ambek mlayu koyok wong mari delok hantu.

Icus mlayu nang pelukan geje tibakno... "je.. kowe... koweeh.. koweeh... ra popo??" pas darmaji karo ponaji mari rangkulan, karo ngeculno geje, de'e ndelok... awake geje wes remuk... oh nooo....

Icus mbrebes mili gara2 ngesakno nasibe Geje, wes gak sido dikirim nang korea 5 taun,malah remuk saiki awake. Trus icus ninju2 kecil dodone darmaji karo ponaji gantian kyk pilm india,"darmaji nakal...ponaji nakal...saaken geje iki lho", tapi karo ketip2.

"Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyyy," si Geje menggeliat2 dewe ndelok kelakuane Icus, sibuk ngebayangno piye lek Icus nowel2 dodone de'e. gilooooooo....... sempet2e seh arek iku akting India ngono? "Ora sudi aku ditinju2 dodone koyo ngono, genit!"

Darmaji berusaha nenangno icus. Darmaji ngerangkul karo ngomong :"iki kondisi penting, dadi kudhu profesional", ponaji ambek geje cuman iso geleng2.

"Heeeyyy.. sek ta lah... iki piye toh.. kita iki durung lomba melek2an piye toh wong2 iki.. geje kuabehh!!" cerocos ponaji ambe mlotot2...terus makbedunduk..... ya know what???

Darmadji ndlomong. "Lhooo... lHoo.. pon...." darmaji terbata-bata.

"Looo.. ponaji..", geje ngrangkul2 terbata-bata.

"OPO?? Ono opo??" jare POnaji emosi.

"Ponajii..."icus tp sing iki ora terbata-bata, malah ngelus ndek dodone ponaji.

"OPO sih arek2 iki??" ponaji tambah penasaran.

"MOTO mmuuuuu MOTOMUUUU MELOTOT PON".

"Wes jelas iki aku sing menang paklek,sampeyan minggato tutuk kene,wes muak aku",jare Ponaji karo senyum culas. "kowe pisan je,mau kan awakmu wes remuk,saiki kok mak jegagik tangi seger ngene?ancene arek geje tenan.Icus iki pisan..."karo ngomong ngono Ponaji noleh nang icus."Lho...icus nang ndi?"kaget Ponaji,moro2 icus ilang.

"Aku ndek kene, cak!" Icus awe2 ndek cedeke banget, "Jiaaaaaaaahhh, motomu iku lho lek melotot sing ukuran ta. Motomu iku pathing pecothot sampe sakmeter luwih, wong aku ono ndek sisimu, aku kan lagi ngelus2 dodomu iki, yo iyolah gak ndelok aku. Dilebokno meneh ae motomu, ben iso ndelok raiku sing imut iki," Icus mengerling2 genit.

Darmaji mlaku cedhek-e ponaji sambil gowo linggis :"motomu iku benakno gawe linggis iki, mosok arek ayu nang sebelahmu ora kethok". icus motone kedap kedup koyok bintang nang langit.

"Opo sihh wong wong iki... ribut ae.... endi? endi sing raine lucu iku?" ujug2 mamang teko.

"MAMANG...",jare Darmaji, Ponaji, Geje karo Icus barengan.

"Heh mang...utangmu mi goreng wingi durung mbok bayar hare..karepmu opo? Kene bayaren!!" moro2 onok Pak Alex pisan.

"Lhooooooooo, ternyata ndek kene Pak Alex," moro2 ono segerombolan polisi ketertiban teko, "Heh, warunge sampeyan ojo mangkal meneh ndek mburi, tak sun kapok kowe."

Pak Alex kebingungan, "Ampun Pak Polisi, ampuuuuuuuuun!"

"Ayo serbuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" Pak polisi karo konco2ne nyerbu Pak Alex, tapi sing disikan mlayu malah Darmaji dan kawan-kawan.

Akhire kabeh podo mlayu. Pak Polisi nguber Pak Alex, Pak Alex nguber Mamang, Mamang nguber Darmaji, Darmaji nguber Ponaji, Ponaji nguber Geje karo Icus.
Timbangane ora nguber opo2, akhire Geje karo Icus nguber2 bebek.


--- WES MARI ---




21 comments:

-rizka- said...

NAJOOOOOOONNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!
:P

Eriek Sobieski said...

gyahahahahahahahahahahahaha

dindun said...

jiakakakakakakakakakakakak......
ancen orang2 geje, tamatnya loh nguber bebek. ga keren blas. :p

Eriek Sobieski said...

hahahahaa ...
udah kehabisan ide, din ...
kamu sih gak mau ikutan =P

Elly Kusnadi said...

JIakakkaak eh2... taro sontrek dunk... si the horizoners feat buntal - the rebellion againts darmadji hehehe :D

wong edyan rak katoan... itu knp ngejar bebek sihh?? ><

Anonymous said...

gyaaah, jadi ini to yang bikin mba fai ketawa cekaka'an kemaren malem ^^
*kok aku banyak yg ga ngerti artinya ya.. ^^*

-rizka- said...

butuh translater kah po? hehehehe...aku bagian editor bahasa jawanya :D

Eriek Sobieski said...

@elly: ly, lagu yg mana yang mau ditaroh? jangan semuanya tar berat streamingnya, kita edit dulu baru publish juga, hahaha

@xcute7: wkwkwkwkwkwkwk
kamu mau minta translate yg mana? ada rizka tuh :D

@rizka: tolong dibantu si xcute7 dengan kesulitan bahasanya :D

Anggriawan Sugianto said...

ra ceto blas =))

Eriek Sobieski said...

weleh, ada aggri. anggri aja tau artinya ya, Gri? :D

Anonymous said...

Huah.. opo iki???? jenengku kok uaaakeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. curang kalian.. >,<

Mudie said...

ora ngerti aku rek, opo iki tulisan riek.. pake indo subtitle dong :))

Eriek Sobieski said...

wah, jangan, bos!
bahaya kalo pake indonesia, tar banyak yang tau, wkwkwkwkwkwk ...

ini very confidential ...
kalo ketahuan si darmaji bisa berabe nih ...

wkwkwkwkwkwkwkwk ....

Mudie said...

hahahaha, pantesan pake bahasa asing :))

Eriek Sobieski said...

eh bos, blognya bos kok ga bisa diakses sih, apa udah ganti lagi?
di mana yang baru?

UuL said...

Gejeeeee...gyahahahhahahah

Anonymous said...

iseng2 pas bengi2 browsing2 gawe nepak2no wektu pase jam ot, nemu cerito lucu koyo ngene..wuahhahaha lucu2

hmm..sek talah..sawangane ponaji iki sosoke durung terkenal tinimbang darmaji...kapan2 nggawe cerito maneh ae rek..lumayan gae ger2an pas jam ot koyo ngene

Eriek Sobieski said...

hwoooo ...
baiklah, nantikan cuplikan cerita2 kami selanjutnya yang lebih hot dan gejeh, wkwkwkwkwk ...

Ponaji itu ponakannya Darmaji, u know who? tanyakanlah saja pada Rizka, dia yang memberinya nama itu, hahahahaha ...

Anonymous said...

nek nggawe crito maneh, kapan2 jenengku disamarkan y.. >,<

Eriek Sobieski said...

@Anonymous: Emang namamu sapa? ga ada nama Anonymous di ceritanya kok, hahahahaha

nyun.yuni said...

kayanya lucu mampus, tp ga ngerti2 amat..baca ulang ahh :D